How to be elegant when it is really hot outside

I know of only two ways to be elegant in triple digit heat.

The first is to go find air conditioning in a place like a movie theater or Nordstrom (drink Pellegrino in the cafe). Bring a sweater. Stay there until evening.

The second is to slow down. Drink lemonade. Stay in the shade. Wear cool, loose clothes. Take a nap. Don't do much of anything. Go swimming if you can. Eat something you don't have to cook like a caprese salad. Look at clouds if there are any. Dream.

But perhaps the second is good advice on not so hot days too. Stay cool, my friends, stay cool.

Formalities

I am again having nostalgia for things I never had. One of those things is a certain amount of formality in life. I never lived in the era of hats and gloves. I don't know what I am missing. And since obviously, a blog is one of the most informal means of communication there is, I'm not practicing what I preach at all times. But I do think there is a time and place for formalities.

One way I get this in every day life is in my day job. We call the judge "your Honor" even at a chance meeting seeing the judge get a gyro for lunch. We use business cards. (I love business cards. They are like calling cards.) We dress up. We frequently refer to people we don't know or don't like as Mr.___ or Mrs. ___. I like all of this.

With our kids, we are following the example of a friend from the South. Her children refer to all adults as Mr. (first name) or Miss (first name). I like this too.

All in all, it's nice at times not to be overly familiar with others, especially those you don't know. Formalities are an elegant solution to maintain a dignified distance when wanted.

As a side note, in languages such as Spanish and French, formalities are built into the language and a handy way of ordering life. Tu or usted? Vous or tu? All in all, another elegant solution.

On going for a walk

After dinner, frequently Tom and I will put the kids in a stroller or two and go for a walk in the country around here. We've worked out a route that has the least amount of traffic, friendliest dogs, loops around rather than goes there and back, and takes about a half hour. We walked it last night.

I noticed that I enjoyed the human scale pace of walking. If I lived pre-cars, this would be my main mode of transport. I'm sure my main social sphere would be my immediate neighbors. It makes moving more significant.

Sometimes we talk, sometimes we don't. Sometimes we see birds, or if we're late, bats. Most of the time the neighbor's friendly dog greets us. We notice the pomegranate tree and whether the fruit look good. We notice the nurseries and the orchards. We notice that there's still that sprinkler riser with an orange perched on it. How long will that be there? Sometimes the kids zone out. Sometimes they chatter. Sometimes they struggle to get out of the stroller. Sometimes they practically fall asleep.

I think it's good for everything--mind, body, soul, emotions, relationships, and digestion to walk. Elegant? Perhaps.

On patience

I never knew how much children tested your patience until I had them. Boy oh boy. Or rather, a now three year old boy and a baby girl. I've lost my patience more times than I care to admit. But on nights like tonight, when I mostly kept it while being severely tested, I feel better. And yes, more elegant.

I simply can't imagine Audrey Hepburn losing her patience with her children. I've seen pictures of her older son dressed up in various superhero costumes and it looks like there was a lot of love and a lot of fun in her family. Since she was among the most elegant people to ever live, I think there's a clue here.

So, keep your chin up and your patience as best you can. (I'm telling this to myself.)

On being polite

Unfortunately I have been lax in my courtesy with my son's birthday party. Honestly, the big day snuck up on me. There was vacation and then a wedding and then I was sick and then...how did it get to be a week away! Eek!

So, I'm hopelessly unorganized and hopelessly unorganized translates to impoliteness. The invitations have been an unholy mix of telephone calls, text messages, and a few written invitations. The proper thing, of course, is to call everyone two to three weeks in advance. I'm not even sure that everyone who should know about it does. Ah, well. The best intentions....

So, of course, politeness is always elegant. But busy moms can't let their sons not have a big day when everyone gets together all at once around a cake and sings "Happy Birthday."

N.B. I do not think that my son needs any presents of any import. He really does just love the point in the party when everyone sings. So my apologies to the universe for being lax and I'll try better for my daughter's birthday party in October!

Recession Chic

A lot has been written about various economic hardships that many people are experiencing now. Our version was actually pretty amusing.

Within the past year, Tom and I realized that to get to the end of the month, we would either have to (1) not spend anything or (2) put stuff on credit cards. Being averse to debt, we chose (1), which required some creativity (and a trip to CoinStar to buy diapers).

Among other things, we decided that if the last meal of the month was refried beans with spaghetti and rice (and whatever else was in the pantry), so be it. We wouldn't get scurvy in 10 days.

Well, luckily, our pantry had chocolate cake mix, chocolate frosting, and the good wine we were saving for a special occasion. I think the freezer had a filet mignon.

So, our recession era cut back was to eat all the fancy stuff that we had on hand and were saving. I put the multi-layer chocolate cake on a pedastal just for fun. Honestly, it felt like the Depression-era Fred Astaire movies where Fred is penniless in a tuxedo. Or, perhaps, the band playing as the Titanic sank!

So my advice is, if you get stuck, don't be afraid to use up the good stuff.

Use what you've got

I received flowers yesterday (thanks, Karen!) but the baby was sleeping in the stroller, which was blocking the cabinet where I keep the vases I normally use. Rather than move her and risk waking the sleeping child, I looked around.

Fortunately, our house was built in 1913 and came with a lot of accessories. I remembered that I had a large pink art-deco fan-shaped vase that came with our house. I've never used a vase like that before. But I'm well pleased.

Instead of being bunched in a dome, the flowers form a single-layer fan across the top. It's good to be resourceful and try something new.

Of course it also helps to live in an antique shop (well, this is practically an antique shop), but the principle is the same wherever you live. For example, I love arranging flowers in Mason jars too. So elegant!